I B texting

Texting has become a theme for me this trip. One hand on the wheel, one eye on the road, the others on the phone.

The first full day

After receiving last night’s visitor, needless to say (why do people say that then say what was needless to say anyway), I didn’t sleep well. I was a bit shaken, a bit angry and a bit confused mostly I felt a little impotent because my circumstance had kept me from acting and I am used to taking charge and doing things in any situation. By the time I finally fell back asleep and woke up like 3-4 hours had passed, this too would become a theme.

I woke up and woke up the wonder twins in the back and we all went into WalMart for what was supposed to be a quick shopping trip for a few of the things we missed on our list and bicycles. 3 hours later , many bicycle laps around the store and a confrontation with a wal-tard we were checking out and loading up the RV with our finds being sure to dump the trash at Wal-Mart so as to have more room.

It was a 4 hour cruise up to Sean’s Mom’s place up in Live Oak out in the Rural deep south of Northern Florida, it’s funny that if you live in South Florida you have to drive North to get to the Deep South! Sean called his Mom to say we were close and she tried to give us directions, whereupon Sean says “mom we have2 iPhones, a Satellite Nav system and an atlas I think we can find it”. Which of course means I pass the place and had to do flip a bitch in a 34’ RV on some hillbilly’s land who might shoot me for it…Exciting times? Anyway we pulled up and his mom was waiting out front (we saw her when we passed the place too but I was cruising too fast to stop, the GPS said I had another 450 feet till we got there(oh well). We got the Sean’s mom’s place and there were 3 cats that were totally cute and lovable one looked as if it had a mustache, I called her Adolf. Jackie (Sean’s mom) was like a second mom to me as much as I was over her house growing up and it was good to see her again. She made us a chicken casserole and Ambrosia salad which I heartily consumed. We caught up and Sean showed her pictures of some of our previous escapades. We decided to drive through the night to make up some time from our extended Wal-Mart trip. I went and napped for a bit in the RV then came in and showered for our drive. We decided to have a quick hookah break and met Girl, Jackie's dog who has definitely seen better days. Super sweet but the dog was shot and walks on 3 legs and is missing an eye. Beautiful but scarred dog. We also met Eddy, very nice guy who has 20 acres and fixes cars, from Fort Lauderdale and then there is Pat , Jackie’s Kato Kaylin, afriend of her late husband who regaled us with his stories of DUI and flipped over golf carts. He kept asking me if I needed a ringer (drink) for the road lol. I politely declined (shocker I know). He graciously turned on some country music and we jetted shortly thereafter.

Back on the road it wasn’t long before the dynamic duo decided to get into the krispy treats!!! Which means it wasn’t long before they were back in the back sleeping. I took some gogo juice cocktail (Rockstar and 5 hour energy) and waas zoomin to the whee hours. It’s interesting how loopy you get on little to no sleep. I was singin and dancing I even had some “just for me” time all while driving. It was fun. I drove until the sun came up and beyond, I refused to stop until we were out of Florida. I decided as soon as we hit Alabammy that I was going to sleep. I promptly did so and slept for a solid 3 hours (read 3 -1 hour naps)…but tomorrow (or today is a new day)

The First Night

Now as anyone who has been on a road trip knows it isn't what goes right on a road trip that makes it, it is what goes wrong. The adversity is the stories that live on the stories you tell to your grand kids. The first night was a story to tell to anyone who will listen, and as many of you know, i already have.

We drove up to Orlando and I agreed to meet Jimmy in Port Saint Lucie so we could show the RV to his Brother-In-Law. I also knew there was a flying J there where we could get some Diesel and propane for the generator. So we headed for the flying J. Sean and Adrian hadn't slept all the night before so they were sleeping in the back whilst i was driving, this i would learn ,would be a theme for our trip. More on that later. We got to the plaza around 10:00 and I spent 10 minutes trying to pull the rig in the right position for diesel as i am backing i see a person go flying from my bumper in the back-up camera i immediately shriek and scream holy fuck, then i realize this person is jimmy, who knew exactly where to be for me to not see him play this joke on me. We get the diesel and propane and are back on the road an hour later.

My plan is to park in my Orlando office's parking lot overnight and be back on the road in the morning. We pull into the parking lot and it is full. I don't know where to go. I had heard that Wal-Mart allowed trucks and RVs to stay overnight as a standing rule in their parking lots. I knew they had just opend one by my old Orlando office and headed for it.

We pull in to one of the largest Wal-Marts i have ever seen, it is truly a small city. I aask the security guard through pantomime if i can sleep here the night, he mimes back that it is ok to park over in the corner. We pull in to a spot pop out the slide and i am zonked, it is now like 2:15 am i am zonked as i havent slept but like 4 hours the night before. I am out and sleeping within a few minutes. I am sound asleep when an urgent and incessant knock is rat-a-tat-tatting on the door. I am very groggy and tired. The word fuzzy headed comes to mind. I look out and it is a dark skinned man who looks like he may be a security guard or something saying something and pointing. I am tired and don't hear him well with the air and generators on, so naturally i open the door to hear him better. He jumps in with a mask and brandishes a knife, I didn't see this as the door is curtained for privacy over the window. He shouts "gimme your fucking money this is a robbery, i will fucking stab you. " I am like what the fuck is this a joke! I think he senses this and says " I am not joking i will stab you", it is aat this point I notice that he is A- not proficient with holding a knife and B) smaller than I am. Here is where i have an internal debate...here are the facts: I can probably get the knife away from him, though i might get stabbed, he seems nervous too, I don't want cops coming to the scene to poke around my RV, I can talk my way into or out of anything. Those are the thoughts going through my mind. I say calmly " I don't have any money". The funny thing is i have $2000 in my back pocket at that very moment he says " if you don't give me money i will stab you, where is your wallet", i say it's over there and half turn to table to grab it, i pick it up. In the wallet is $80.00 i taake it out and hand it to him. HE asks me for the wallet, I say " no, i need my ID and don't want to have to go get another", he buys this, though my CCs are there too, he says "gimme your cell phone" to which i reply ,"I don't have a cell phone". The irony here is that my iPhone is at his feet charging in plain site. He and i look at each other for a second. I again debate just jumping him but think about the personal dangers, I am tired, scared and just want him out. He grants my wish and takes off out the door and jumps into a white Toyota and takes off out of the parking lot at high speed. I lock the door immediately and see the security guard walk over. He speaks to me with his broken english asking me what happenned. I half believe the fucker was in on it. I tell him I don't need him to call the cops, go in and wake Sean and Adrian who had slept through the whole incident. Me i sleep lightly all night and resolve to get a bat the next morning from said Wal-Mart.

Burning Man Prep

I have been preparing mentally for a long time to go to Burning Man, a week in the middle of the desert with nothing but what you bring with you and/or can barter for. This presents a lot of logistics problems and infrastructure problems. Luckily for us the new rig solved much of that problem. But it had needs of it's own.

My original goal was to have everything set up and ready to go for Burning Man and be completely green. Run the rig off BioDiesel and use solar panels to cut down on the generator use. But the lenders had other plans. Since the loan took so long to close and clear I didn't have the rig until the Monday before the Saturday we were supposed to leave. So as time was limited and I didn't know how it would run on BioD, that was the first thing nixxed, however it will eventually be converted. BioDiesel, it's good stuff!!!

With only a few days to get the work done I headed up to Lake City to meet with Jon palmer of Palmer Energy Systems. This guy was so damn interesting. They live on 500 acres and live off the grid, solar and generator only, even their water is hauled in. We sat down and he took me on an electric golf cart tour of the property and then handed me the outline he had for the rig. $8500 ! Ouch, having just shelled out to buy it and have it insured and registered this wasn't an option. He ran the numbers for me and showed me how long it would be before the solar panels earned their keep, unless i ws boondocking it a lot. I knew it needed batteries right away so I opted for those some rewiring and an electrical management system ( think of an RV surge protector). Next we will do inverter then solar. Oh yes we will go solar!

It took me 2 days camping out in the RV to get that completed and I drove all eve Wednesday to get home. I was beat. Driving the new rig was physically demanding till you get the hang of it. Not to mention nerve wracking. When i got home all i wanted to do was sleep, so I did.

The next few days were a blur, mostly me buying stuff I didn't need and trying to make an appointment to get the il changed on the RV. I don't understand why you need to drop it off for 2 days for a 45 minute oil change. I finally found a place that would take it in for only a day to have it serviced. Shoudouts to Kadina and Kat for driving me and picking me up from there. Friday night I had it bacvk and was ready to start loading things, but did I... NO i went to Jordan's BBQ. Saturday though I was up early (which for me is 8 AM) and packing
prepping and loading you can check out my organization skills on our other blog http://burningmantrip.blogspot.com

or right here:

Sean and Adrian finally arrived and we compared our lists. Flashlightss...check, Grbage Bags...Check, duct tape... check, Zip ties...check, Shade structure...check, 50' rope 1 copper piece... check. The rest we knew we had to head to the various stores to pick up in order to have our on the playa and on the trip. Bikes, respirators, Space age bubble wrap, you know the essentials. we didn't have nearly enough time to get everything we needed and get out by the arbitrary time of 6:00 PM. So instead we both didn't get out on time and didn't get all the items on our lists, naturally. It's par for the course. We finally got out around 8ish and were on the road to O-town for the night

Getting the RV

I had known my whole life that I wanted an RV. It has been a lifelong goal of mine to have the ability to pack up everything I own and take it with me, or at least the essentials. The ultimate back up plan, if you will.

I started looking on Craig's list and Rvtrader.com and found nothing. One day i checked it and there it was:








I called the owner Steve and he was more than helpful and it only confirmed what i already knew, I had found my new rig! I spoke to Jimmy, my business partner in http://www.premiumseatsusa.com , and we agreed that we could use it for business purposes (i.e. tail-gates, mobile command center, etc) to, so I now i had a plan in place and would have my home for Burning Man and other various adventures.



I spoke to my lender and got it all taken care of from finance end and I negotiated a fair price with Steve and asked him to hold the rig until I could come up to Bradenton and take a look. He kindly did so. I was up a week later. I drove up with Lola and we met Steve and his wife Martha.

An aside here: Steve and Martha are former personal trainers turned Artists and used the rig to go to art shows you can check out their work at http://the3sisters.com , very neat stuff. The rig's name was Olyve and it usually pulled a jeep named Popaye, which was the screen names of Steve and Martha on aol when they met, Olyve Oil and Popaye and now they live happily ever after, and aare now my lifelong friends too.

Back to the story: Steve is meticulous in his care of Olyve had every document receipt etc, i hope to be at least 1/2 that diligent in my care of it. He knew every sound every bump every trick to it, i however did not. I was so nervous driving home i thought that maybe i shouldn't do it. I called up Jimmy and he said the choice was mine. I thought about it long and hard, placed a call to Steve and decided I was still game, that I could do it. Now we were just waiting on the lender, so with a few more weeks of delay in the financing (thanks escrow company) we had a deal set and Jimmy and I were set to head up there to take a final lesson and pick her up. We picked her up on Monday 8/13 and i drove her for the next step in the process.....